Ask Martha and the Magic 8 Ball! wwmd?


What Would Martha Do?

Your thought-provoking questions just keep rolling in! Instead of answering individually, I’ve decided to start a wwmd? ask the 8 Ball advice column.

Please submit questions in three easy steps:

1. Scroll down to “Leave a Reply”

2. Drop your question in the “Leave a Reply” box

3. I’ll check the 8 Ball and provide the answer within two shakes of a lambs tail!

Viola!

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The image below is just an image. You can click on it until you’re blue in the face. Nothing happens. It’s only there to help stimulate your mind.

Martha's Magic 8 Ball

6 comments for “Ask Martha and the Magic 8 Ball! wwmd?

  1. Baconator
    March 12, 2010 at 11:35 pm

    Dear Martha,
    My girlfriend (I’ll call her Peggy) has become obsessed with bacon. Not so much consuming it, but wearing it. It’s gotten to the point, I no longer want to be around her. She creates bacon undergarments. Here she is posing in a bacon-bra. She also wears a bacon thong.

    http://www.marthastewardess.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/03/Bacon-Bra-e1268467692126.jpg

    I do love Peggy, and imagine spending the rest of my life with her, but I’m not so sure about the bacon bits. Any suggestions Martha?
    Signed, the Baconator

  2. Martha
    March 13, 2010 at 12:30 am

    Dear Baconator, First of all, thank you for being my very first advice seeker!

    Secondly, those are nice slabs! With or without the bacon, the girls are looking good!

    I think what’s needed is a bacon intervention, of sorts. Looks like you’ll need the support of her closest friends and family members. Invite everyone to attend a rally for a cause, a retro liberation thing. Make up something, like “free the range chickens” or “imagine whirled peas”. Build a bonfire, and make some noise. Arrange for a few of the women to start chanting “burn your bra!, burn your bra!, like that. When the bra’s start dropping, hopefully Peggy will join in and toss her bacon bra into the flames with the other conventional ‘over the shoulder boulder holders’.

    After the activity, carefully remove the now crispy bacon strips from the coals, and make BLT’s for an enjoyable late night snack.

    Over sandwiches, you will have an opportunity to tell Peggy exactly how you feel. Hold your pickle, grab her lettuce, special orders won’t upset us!

    Hope this helps, and good luck.

    Always Martha

  3. ViddlesSosoon
    March 13, 2010 at 11:43 am

    Dear Martha and Chip,
    You seem to have a wonderful relationship. Do you ever argue? How do you handle problems in the relationship?

    Thanks in advance,
    VS

  4. Martha
    March 13, 2010 at 12:24 pm

    Dear ViddlesSosoon,

    Chip and I have chemistry similar to other dynamic duo’s, like Kate and Spencer, Fred and Ginger, Wilma and Fred, Batman and Robin.

    We make it work because we respect our differences. Chip and I are complete opposites. Chip smokes cigars, and I collect the cotton balls packed inside pill bottles. He sleeps in, I sleep around. He drinks tomato, I drink Clamato. But we never fuss with each other over our differences. It’s more of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy with us.

    My advice to any couple is, “don’t put your eggs in each others baskets!”

    Good luck Viddles, and may your relationships not get stale and hard, like day old bread.

    Always Martha

  5. Business Flyer
    March 19, 2010 at 8:21 am

    Dear Martha, I like the website and information provided.

    As a frequent flyer, I’m wondering if you could share some personal in-flight sexual experiences with your readers? Maybe start a thread asking others to share?

    Are you a member of the mile high club?

    signed, curious in Baltimore.

  6. Martha
    March 19, 2010 at 8:45 am

    Dear Curious,
    Well, aren’t you the curious one?

    I’m not one to mix business with pleasure, if you know what I mean.

    And when I’m in uniform, it’s all business. Although I must admit to spicing things up a little now and then.

    I’ve been known to raise a few eyebrows (along with my skirt). And I do have a few secrets tucked up my sleeve, or should I say “in my panty hose”?

    Let’s just say “on my flights, I’ve had celebrities, politicians, magicians, and even a mortician”.

    I’ll leave the rest up to your imagination. Oh, and I encourage readers to share your very personal experiences here. Don’t be shy……..

    Martha

Comments are closed.