![[Google]]( http://www.marthastewardess.com/wp-content/plugins/easy-adsenser/google-light.gif)
My hair on straight?
“Flying frequently ~ for a living!” ~ Based in beautiful San Francisco, Martha is a well seasoned Flight Attendant for a major US airline. Although friendly service is an important job requirement, Martha works tirelessly maintaining a safe, stable, and secure environment while hosting hundreds of somewhat unstable, often insecure, and not-always-friendly passengers stuffed inside a metal tube hurling through space at over 500 mph. Seems like a crazy life huh? It is. It’s Martha’s life, and she’s living it crazy.
This is Martha’s fifth airline. For her, being a Flight Attendant is not so much a career as it is an addiction. How does she do it? “Like I put on my pantyhose, one leg at a time”.
Chip says ~ “What do I love most about Martha? Her schedule and that she’s away a lot. Hey, I’m no dummy!”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
~
Whoa! No open flames.
Chip “a wood man is hard to find” ~ Chip is Martha’s other half. Well, other quarter really. These two lovebirds have been going at it for several months now. You may be wondering how they met? With Martha’s hectic travel schedule, and Chip playing a Vegas gig at the time, the chances of meeting were less than zero. Tired of one night stands, losers, and bimbos, they turned to a well-known dating service. With the click of mice, they met, fell in love, and the rest is history.
.com
What Martha says about Chip ~ “For me, it’s a wood thing”
…………………………………………………………………………
Who’s at the controls of Marthastewardess.com?
John Safkow is the creator of Martha Stewardess and her sidekick, “Chip”.
John is a former San Francisco based flight attendant for a major airline. He’s worked for a total of five airlines, starting his airline career in 1980 with Air Miami, a small feeder airline for Air Florida.
“I worked as an agent at the tiny airport in Naples, Fla. Our terminal was a one bedroom mobile home. Air Miami passengers would first enter into the living room for ‘check-in’ and boarding passes. Once bags were checked in, passengers would receive a required security screening (by me using a hand-held wand) before entering our secured area ‘waiting’ room, which in reality was the bedroom.
21 passenger, Casa-212
A few minutes before departure, passengers would exit the back door of our terminal-trailer to board one of our three aircrafts, a nine passenger Cessna, 21 passenger Casa-212, or our 32 passenger DC-3 (pic shows PBA. Yep, worked for them too!).”
PBA DC-3
PEOPLExpress 747
Leisure Air DC-10 "We'll get you there, at our leisure"
After Air Miami, John worked for Provincetown Boston Airlines, another regional carrier. In 1982 John was hired on with the great late PeoplExpress. He left PEX in 1986 and found himself a bit off course and employed as an earthling working the bay with a San Francisco ferry-boat service. A few years later John moved on to hotel sales. In late 1994, he joined a charter company, Leisure Air as Base Manager at SFO International Airport in San Francisco.
Five months later Leisure Air was out of money and permanently grounded. Following ‘Leisure’, John enjoyed his leisure time completely absorbed with the OJ Simpson trial. Unfortunately, absorbing Court TV will not put food on the table or pay the rent.
In spring of 1995, John joined United Airlines flying ‘friendly’ until February 2011. On this date John removed his wings in exchange for a once in a lifetime opportunity as Gorilla Caregiver for ‘Koko’ and ‘Ndume’ at The Gorilla Foundation in Woodside, CA., www.koko.org
From Flight Attendant to Gorilla Caregiver. “You’d be surprised at the similarities with these career choices. As both Flight Attendant and Gorilla Caregiver, I’m locked inside a confined area with primates. Both gorillas and passengers are difficult, however gorillas never complain, whine, or act like passengers. They only scream and throw their poop at you.”
While John tends to the gorillas, Martha and Chip will continue serving you at your cursing cruising altitude of 34,000 feet.
Click links for published articles mentioning John and/or Martha:
Christian Science Monitor – “Flight Attendants job; Harder Than it Used to be?”
Fare Compare.com – “When a 300 Pound Gorilla is a Flight Attendant Stress Antidote”
ABCNews.com/Travel – “No Steven Slater Here. Flight Attendant Tricks to Fighting Stress”
Readers Digest- “13 Things Your Flight Attendant Won’t Tell You”
USA Today – “Seatmates Spar Over Middle Armrest”
Workstew Podcast – “Flight Attendant Turned Gorilla Caretaker”
The Gorilla Foundation- Caring for Koko and Ndume~ “Magical”
Contact John Safkow at johnnysafkow@att.net
Message:
Martha I just want to tell you that i truly enjoy your site
……rock on you fierce fly girl!!!!
This site is great! You go Martha and keep the skies safe. If you ever throw Chip to the woods (weeds) let me know, I’m interested.
Your site rocks Martha.(If that REALLY is your name).
I recently retired after flying for 43 years with DAL/PAA. Please check out videos on YouTube I recorded on board in the last few month before I retired.
“43 years of pouring Coke”.
Thanks Eileen! And congrats on your retirement. Check out Eileen’s Youtube channel @
http://www.youtube.com/user/eileenfitz1965
Thanks for the “notable” mention! As you’ve always been, you’re linked on my page as well! Love what you’ve done with the site!
You’re welcome, and thanks for the compliment.
Martha
(Bobby is at the controls of “upupandagay.com”)
You spelled my name wrong in the headline. Would you mind fixing it? Just for the sake of accuracy. Love the story!
Thanks,
Patricia Sund
(Inflight Birth Traffic Controller)
Oh you bet, done! And I do apologize.
Please feel free to add your comments to the article. Readers would get a kick out of your first hand experience, and so would I.
You look cute with your li’l bundle of joy!
Martha
We think that the way you handle Chip is THE way to handle passengers… If you want to make it “airline number 6″ give us a call. Thromby Air – The Lowest of the Low
Why thank you RC. And I may just take you up on that offer. Looks like you need a strong in-flight service leader with big hair and industrial strength support hose! I’ll have my person contact your people.
Sinceriously,
Martha
I love your site. I recently retired from Delta after 30 yrs. and it feels good to see someone making light of an industry that gets “no respect”. Keep up the good work and to your success!
Hi Deborah. Congrats on retirement and thanks for the kind comments.
Always Martha, and sometimes Chip
I saw a comment about people asking whether they can use the bathrooms while the plane is on the ground. On trains you weren’t allowed to because it did go directly onto tracks. We just have some history.
Kris
Dear KD,
Your referencing the Readers Digest “13 Things Your Flight Attendant Won’t Tell You” feature.
I understand completely. How would a first time flyer know unless they ask?
That ‘thing’ was not a contribution of mine.
Thanks for the reminder/comment.
Martha
While yes we have once in a blue moon witnessed bad behaviour from passengers, the attendants have reached a new level of arrogance and unacceptable conduct.
Don’t like serving Coke for 30 years, get another job (career is too generous a description as the level of professionalism is practically non-existent in flight attendants today).
This is my personal favourite: Flight attendants that justify their laziness and rudeness with “this is for your safety”. Perhaps you should recognize the fact that the majority of travellers are responsible and decent people not the clowns you seem to imagine.
In our case flying is not elective, it is mandatory – it is almost guaranteed that our experience will prove unpleasant; leaving us with an enormous headache by the time we exit the plan. And yes, I am one of the passengers that rarely say good-bye or thank-you, as I find your fake smile at the door nauseating after observing your conduct during the flight, where was your smile then?
I for one miss the well-groomed and “service with a smile” stewardesses that existed when I started business in the 70’s. And please, don’t get me started on your lack of grooming (unkempt hair, chipped nail polish, yellowed and/or creased shirts, unpolished shoes, etc.)
Oh lighten up will ya? I had one bad day. And as I recall, it was a blue moon.
It was for your safety that I chose not to do coffee refills, since I had a massive hangover with the shakes.
You were really clowns that day? Whew, all these years I thought I was hallucinating! I feel much better now. Thank you.
Mandatory flying? That’s always been my excuse, and it’s always unpleasant. We agree on that one!
You won’t see a fake smile on me. Not since I knocked out my front tooth in a disco accident on a layover in Kansas City.
I miss the 70′s too, before random drug testing.
My lack of grooming? Well if that isn’t the pot calling the kettle black. As I recall you reeked of cheap gin and Vitalis! And I’m not even going to mention your sandals and man purse! Pulllllleeeaaaase!
Have a nice day!
Always Martha ,-)
Just stumbled onto your site and love it. I have fond memories of flying “back in the day” and have always had a love affair with the skies. Even as Flight attendants and Pilots continue to try to keep the norm with their professional behavior and attire, I have become more disappointed in my fellow travelers need to dress like they just rolled out of bed…or worse.
I try to upgrade to first or business class whenever possible, not because the service is better (but let’s face it, it usually is) but because there are whole parts of that experience that remind me of the gilded era of flying when people were nice and pleasant to each other, and they socialized as a need to learn and share.
Traveling to me is still about the experience – I’m a general aviation pilot as well and marvel at the physics behind getting these big beautiful hulks into the air.
Thanks for creating this awesome site!
Dear Ron,
Thank your for the compliments, comments, and reminder.
You’re so right. It’s not only about the destination. Look a the journey too. Enjoy it all!
Always Martha
Dear readers,
Apparently we’ve lost a few comments during our cross-over to the new server. I’m sure they’re around somewhere. Frustrating isn’t it. Like when I search all over the house for my glasses and I have them on!
Oh they were doozies too! Not the glasses. The comments I mean.
We do apologize and hope you’ll keep those cards and letters coming!
Always Martha and sometimes Chip.
John…LOVE the site!! I didn’t know you were its creator!!!!Fantastic!!!
Thanks!